From the novel Year of The Rhinoceros

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READ THE NOVEL SYNOPSIS

CHARACTERS:

LANEY DRACOS: a woman in her late twenties.

MANNY EDEN: a man in his early twenties.

SCENE: Laney Dracos, desperate and boxed in by her White House enemies and her Republican boss, Mr. Hunsecker, meets with her co-worker Manny Eden at Scandal's bar in Washington. She is determined to convince him to join her secret organization, The American Watch. She needs his help to resist the White House regime, for not only is the future of American democracy at stake, but the lives of many who have risked everything to tell the truth about the corporate takeover of Washington.

( NOTE from the author: "It would not have been realistic to make this scene shorter given the subject matter and intensity. Human beings do not conveniently walk away from dialogues such as this, nor do they always clip their speech to make the author happy." - M. B. Neff)

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BAD BOSS THEORY

MANNY
A few drinks and no more superbitch?

LANEY
It’s just ice-water, sir. I’m faking it.

MANNY
And what else are you faking?

LANEY
(smiling) You must be gay.

MANNY
What?

LANEY
Even hateful men act sweet just long enough to sleaze my pants off.

MANNY
Okay, so I’ll sweeten up. (he gives Laney a big phony smile) How’s that?

LANEY
Real cute.

MANNY
Becky told me to meet you here.

LANEY
Yes, but she hasn’t shown up, and that bothers me.

MANNY
Why?

LANEY
Your boss, Hunsecker, summoned her to the Presence Chamber early this morning.

MANNY
The what?

LANEY
Presence Chamber ... It's from The Overcoat. A story by Gogol. You read Gogol?

MANNY
No, but I saw Becky around four, and she appeared traumatized.

LANEY
(sits back in her chair, appears shocked) What? ... I didn’t think it would happen today ... (trying to recover) Becky’s feud with Hunsecker goes back awhile. Even Counsel Madison has reason to hate her.

MANNY
(amused) Okay, so why am I here?

LANEY
Becky and I want to recruit you.

MANNY
Recruit me to—?

LANEY
(matter-of-fact) Be a partisan. A resistance fighter in the American Watch underground.

MANNY
Really? ... And why should I cooperate?

LANEY
Why shouldn’t you?

MANNY
Maybe because you piss me off?

LANEY
A man who holds grudges will fit in nicely at OWC.

MANNY
I'm not a grudge holder ... or a fool.

LANEY
Bravo! You’re one of the smart guys then. (she toasts him with her glass)

MANNY
(leans forward, intent) But why me?

LANEY
(matter-of-fact but with a hint of sarcasm) Because we’ve realized your potential, and besides, we’re holding our annual membership drive.

MANNY
How do you know I won’t betray you?

Laney slides back into her chair. She sips at her drink and watches Manny’s face.

LANEY
(growing cool) Relax ... Before I give you an answer, I have lots of theories I need to discuss.

MANNY
What’s that got—

LANEY
I compose them on my back steps at night. Moon-inspired theories, sir.

MANNY
Uhhhhh—

LANEY
And what kind, you ask? Oh, let’s see, like the Theory of Sneaky Shit Ascendance, also known as the Grand Unified Sneaky Shit Theory, also known as the Shit Rises to the Top Theory, corollary to the New-Boss-Same-as-Old-Boss Theory ... Got it?

MANNY
Sure, I hear what you’re saying, but—

LANEY
But nothing ... You mean to tell me that in your broad travels from Kenosha to D.C. you haven't figured out that sneaky shits rule the universe?

MANNY
No.

LANEY
Social Darwinism ... Think about it.

MANNY
I’m thinking.

LANEY
All you need is one sociopathic shithead on top. Give this thing the ruthlessness and hunger of a snake, and if certain employee scales don't match, it sheds and sheds till only the favorite scales remain. Get it now? Simple ... Yes?

MANNY
I get it.

LANEY
Now you are a remarkable genius (she toasts him again). And that's just one reason why you won't fit in at the agency

MANNY
But I’m from Kenosha. I've been counting on fitting in, Laney.

LANEY
(beginning to anger) But you won't.

MANNY
Then sucking up to Hunsecker was for nothing?

LANEY
Never mind that. I happen to know you’re not an asshole, or an ass kisser. You sat in on the gauntlet last Friday. You saw what happened to your precious Keat Linderhart, the whistleblower of your dreams ... You refused to give her up.

MANNY
I didn’t—

LANEY
Remember all those gagging little yummies pouring out of Hunsecker's mouth, like protected activity, Pickering, motive, and nexus, and blah blah? That’s all American gov policy crap based on years of intentionally misinterpreting the law. Madison and Hunsecker use law to gut the law. Don’t you see?

MANNY
I still don’t understand—

Laney places her hand gently on his arm, focuses her eyes in his.

LANEY
You fight for something that matters and it gets you labeled, lied about, scoffed at, yes? ... It’s all so cornball, only you can’t help it, and neither can I. We’re freaks of nature, like the whistleblowers.

MANNY
Okay, that makes sense. But I have no intention of rebelling against the agency. I know—

LANEY
(suddenly darkening) You know nothing. (her hand squeezes his arm as her body moves closer and closer, till her mouth is only inches from his face). Listen to me, Mr. Eden ... Listen carefully. At least twice a month, the glorious Counsel Madison, the head of our agency, makes special little excursions over to the White House ... Once there, he lunches with some of his buddies in the blue-blood club, then patiently instructs all present on how best to humiliate and fire whistleblowers without running afoul of the law ... He refers to these education courses as the Madison Outreach Program. He’s even had a few hundred brochures printed out ... (releases his arm and sits back, Manny saying nothing, perfectly still, Laney looking incredulous) What is your outrage factor, sir?

MANNY
It's all hard to accept ...

LANEY
(matter of fact but determined) Not at all. Just place it in context. Madison is a failed nominee for Secretary of Treasury, a fuck-the-pedestrians Mayflower conservative who doesn’t give a shit about democracy much less the true mission of his agency. He’s just the first line of defense in keeping Reagan and his corporate family from suffering loose cannon wounds (pause) Outraged yet?

MANNY
I’m trying real hard. Course, you’re assuming I believe all this.

LANEY
And he’s not alone. Everyone joins in—Congressmen, Cabinet members, the White House, OMB officials, lobbyists—

MANNY
(sarcastic) Another conspiracy theory, Mzz Dracos?

LANEY
Of course it’s a conspiracy! (slapping hand to bar and gawking) But not always one of smoke filled rooms. It's a human nature recipe. Mix the right ingredients and you get the same result, every time.

MANNY
Now, I really don't get it.

LANEY
(irritated) Oh, yes, you do. You're not that stupid.

MANNY
I am that stupid.

LANEY
There's a file of evidence at my home, a few inches thick. It’s stuff the American Watch has stolen from the agency and Hunsecker’s office over the past few years. I’ve entitled it America’s Gold.

MANNY
What’s ... uh, in it? Do I want to know?

LANEY
Sure you can handle it, ace?

MANNY
Gimme a break.

LANEY
How about the FEC giving the nod to voting fraud?

MANNY
(heckling tone) Uhhhh, c’mon—

LANEY
Customs agents acting as henchmen for Mexican narco lords?

MANNY
Yeah, right.

LANEY
EPA officials taking bribes from chemical polluters, HUD officials taking bribes from city politicians, Justice Department ignoring evidence of massive and ongoing fraud at the Pentagon, HHS supressing proof of corporate hospital chains stealing billions from Medicare, and on and on and on—

MANNY
(sobering a bit) Okay, okay.

LANEY
You with me?

MANNY
I think so.

LANEY
Think harder. Gold makes the rules. We’re no better than the Marcos government in the Phillipines, even worse, and to top it off, these bribe artists are kicking back sacks of soft money to both parties.

MANNY
(sarcastic) Then why doesn’t someone do something about it?

LANEY
Look, ace, the American government is the largest criminal enterprise in the history of the human race ... Is that too radical for you?

MANNY
YES!

LANEY
Then just add up the facts. Watch the magic make the Treasury vanish. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re a Dem or a Republican, k? That shit makes no difference. Ideology has nada to do with the politics of power. (Manny won’t answer, a long pause, Laney switches tact.) Oh, and by the way, word in the office has it that you’re fucking that whistleblower, Keat Linderhart.

MANNY
(furious) THAT'S ... THAT’S SO MUCH—

LANEY
Relax, relax. One of the Bimbo Dogs started it. Either Babs or Varsana.

MANNY
Which one?

LANEY
It doesn’t matter. You'll become a grateful part of our grandiose and humane scheme. You'll be able to live with yourself ... Are you listening?

MANNY
Yeah, sure. (perplexed, simmering)

LANEY
We're gonna blow the trumpets and bring the walls down on those pricks. (voice somber, face serious as she leans forward and places her hand on Manny’s arm again, gripping it more firmly) So what will it be, Mr. Eden?

MANNY
Uhh—

LANEY
Uhhhhhhh?

MANNY
I can't think, not just now. I need time.

LANEY
(adamant) Look at me. Didn’t Jefferson himself believe in government going bad? Yes?

MANNY
You just don’t understand where I came from. You don’t understand the pit of Kenosha.

LANEY
Hell with Kenosha! Inaction is worse.

MANNY
Yeah, well—

LANEY
Wait too long and you'll go down on all fours.

MANNY
I won't damage my career, Elaine.

LANEY
What career? Your fuck-the-nation career? ... I'm asking you to not be a hypocrite. Is that so bad?

MANNY
No.

LANEY
Personalities are fragile creations, Mr. Eden. The agency will force you to become an asshole if you don’t act now.

MANNY
Laney, I will never betray you. I don’t like all this sneaky Watch stuff. I’m all for things being out in the open. Still, I will never betray you. I swear it.

He tries to hold her hand.

LANEY
(suddenly confused, saddened) My happy pills are wearing off ... We’ll have to finish this conversation later.

He releases her hand.

MANNY
No, Elaine, I’m sorry.

She scoots her chair out and stands, looking as if ready to either bawl or beg for mercy. He can only gawk up at her in an uncomfortable and stupid way. Seeing his unease, she gives him a little smile, then takes a step forward and fills his eyes with a blouse of white cotton. Her bosom presses against him. She clasps his head in both her hands and kisses his forehead. She then turns and leaves. He is left behind, staring, frozen.

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